Showing posts with label control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label control. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

E-GO!

This one I wrote for a friend as a topic for public speaking. Nevertheless I knew I cannot miss this topic as I have ego issues and my brother has always been the one to highlight this fact. Not sure if I am working on it or I will ever. But, here's my take on it.




There was once a great scientist. He developed a formula and learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly that it was impossible to differentiate between the original and the copy. One day he realized that the angel of death was searching for him. In order to remain immortal, he reproduced a dozen copies of himself. The reproduction was so prefect that all of them looked exactly like him. When the angel of death came down he was at a loss to know which of the thirteen before him was the original scientist. Confused, he left them all alone and returned back to heaven. The Angel came up with a Clever idea. He said to the scientist Addressing all 13 of them, "Sir you must be genius. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just one tiny little flaw". The scientist immediately jumped out and shouted, Impossible! Where is the flaw?" "Right here" said the angel as he picked up the scientist and carried him off. The three letter word "EGO" killed the scientist literally.

Ego - the word itself says let GO. The term  “ego,” is the Latin term for “I” in English. Ego kills relationships. When expressed, it has the ability to instigate similar behavior in others. We see so many people get into conflicts and most of them have the same question "why should "I" be the one to apologize, or why should "I" be the one who initiates to resolve the conflict. So this constant "I" pulls us away from our loved ones and strains relationships.

Ego cannot thrive in the presence of love. Because to be able to love one must be able to put the interest of the other person above self interest. Love demands selfless affection. There are only two relationships that do not have ego and are based on unconditional love. The first one is the relationship between a mother and her child . She is always ready to sacrifice her personal interest for the child. She would be the first one to give up in an argument. No matter what you do she would be ever ready to forgive you and still loves you unconditionally. The second relationship is between God and a human being. They say that you might have committed thousands of sins but if you forget yourself and become one with him, you will be amazed to realize the intensity of love that he has for us.

Talking about the mother who loves her child selflessly. What is surprising to see is the same mother has a different equation all together when it comes to her relationship with her mother in law. the same question "why should "I" be the one to apologize, the "I" comes again. This goes to show that though a person is capable of being selfless in a relationship, he/she is not completely devoid of ego. The intensity of expression varies from person to person. But there is no human being who can say that "I am ego less". In fact such a statement is the biggest affirmation of the presence of his ego.

Can an individual ever act only according to her own interests without regard for others’ interests. Can an individual ever truly act for others without any regard for his/her own interests? The answers will depend on individual choices.But deep inside our hearts we all know that it is impossible to think about others' interest in all situations. Just ask yourself, have I lost a relationship, have I had fights over trivial things, have I disagreed with others in spite of knowing that I was wrong? I am sure we've. At some point or the other. This goes to show that ego is inseparable from human nature. We all have it. The choice is yours'. Do you want to pamper it and inflate it or control it and make way for love. 



Friday, December 10, 2010

Myself....Then and Now

Today, this weird thought came to my mind….about how I’ve changed as a person. This is not as weird a thought I guess.
In my teens and until the age of 24, I was this girl who, maybe did not know what she wanted, but knew what she did not want. I had this amazing control over my thoughts and feelings which I seem to have lost now! I had this magical talent of going against what I felt like doing, when I knew doing certain things was not in the best of my interests. I was a very lonely person back then, all my emotions locked up within me. Lonely by choice maybe? I always took pride in the fact that I can survive on my own and I did not need anyone (except for my family of course). I wore this look (mature?) which was too old for my age.  I would give a look of disgust (in my mind) to anything and anyone that seemed silly to me. I took myself a little too seriously, and I hated it when others didn’t treat me likewise.  This made me vulnerable and it was quite a task for me to move on and forgive when I was hurt. I spoke only when I was spoken to. I did not make any friends in the first 2 ½ years of my career in a BPO! Unbelievable? I felt no one around was mature enough or genuine enough to be friends with. I was this no non sense girl who was absolutely confident about who she was. I had the least emotional attachment with people around. I simply adore this aspect of that girl.

Being lonely is not that bad after all! I think being with myself is what I miss now. Something which gave me immense strength I suppose. I do spend time alone even now. But there is a difference. I am constantly occupied by thoughts about people around me …more specifically people in my life. This is not to say that I blame the people around me for losing the strength that I once had. I am glad that I have all the people that I do have, as a part of my life. Apart from these people, there were other incidents in my life that changed me. Things that I've learnt are:
  •  Do not take yourself too seriously, so that you don’t get disappointed or hurt. And more importantly, MOVE ON!!
  • Expressing your emotions is not a crime, as long as they are genuine.
  • Its ok to make mistakes, do not be too harsh on yourself. (I’ve been taking undue advantage of this lately)
  • Genuine and trustworthy people do exist in this world, people who are worthy of being your friends.
  • It’s absolutely alright to be a kid and let loose once in a while.
I so want to bring back that girl in me. I need to start my journey towards rediscovering myself. What I am essentially looking for is a balance between who I was and who I am. I need to strive really hard to get the self control back. And I know who can help me with this. Someone who’s been there with me, when nobody was! J
P.S. Listened to Crash and burn by Savage Garden…fell in love with it.

V