E-GO!

This one I wrote for a friend as a topic for public speaking. Nevertheless I knew I cannot miss this topic as I have ego issues and my brother has always been the one to highlight this fact. Not sure if I am working on it or I will ever. But, here's my take on it.

There was once a great scientist. He developed a formula and learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly that it was impossible to differentiate between the original and the copy. One day he realized that the angel of death was searching for him. In order to remain immortal, he reproduced a dozen copies of himself. The reproduction was so prefect that all of them looked exactly like him. When the angel of death came down he was at a loss to know which of the thirteen before him was the original scientist. Confused, he left them all alone and returned back to heaven. The Angel came up with a Clever idea. He said to the scientist Addressing all 13 of them, "Sir you must be genius. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just one tiny little flaw". The scientist immediately jumped out and shouted, Impossible! Where is the flaw?" "Right here" said the angel as he picked up the scientist and carried him off. The three letter word "EGO" killed the scientist literally.

Ego - the word itself says let GO. The term  “ego,” is the Latin term for “I” in English. Ego kills relationships. When expressed, it has the ability to instigate similar behavior in others. We see so many people get into conflicts and most of them have the same question "why should "I" be the one to apologize, or why should "I" be the one who initiates to resolve the conflict. So this constant "I" pulls us away from our loved ones and strains relationships.

Ego cannot thrive in the presence of love. Because to be able to love one must be able to put the interest of the other person above self interest. Love demands selfless affection. There are only two relationships that do not have ego and are based on unconditional love. The first one is the relationship between a mother and her child . She is always ready to sacrifice her personal interest for the child. She would be the first one to give up in an argument. No matter what you do she would be ever ready to forgive you and still loves you unconditionally. The second relationship is between God and a human being. They say that you might have committed thousands of sins but if you forget yourself and become one with him, you will be amazed to realize the intensity of love that he has for us.

Talking about the mother who loves her child selflessly. What is surprising to see is the same mother has a different equation all together when it comes to her relationship with her mother in law. the same question "why should "I" be the one to apologize, the "I" comes again. This goes to show that though a person is capable of being selfless in a relationship, he/she is not completely devoid of ego. The intensity of expression varies from person to person. But there is no human being who can say that "I am ego less". In fact such a statement is the biggest affirmation of the presence of his ego.

Can an individual ever act only according to her own interests without regard for others’ interests. Can an individual ever truly act for others without any regard for his/her own interests? The answers will depend on individual choices.But deep inside our hearts we all know that it is impossible to think about others' interest in all situations. Just ask yourself, have I lost a relationship, have I had fights over trivial things, have I disagreed with others in spite of knowing that I was wrong? I am sure we've. At some point or the other. This goes to show that ego is inseparable from human nature. We all have it. The choice is yours'. Do you want to pamper it and inflate it or control it and make way for love. 

The Turning Point

"One remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it s there and don't throw it away." - Stephen Hawking.

I know I have made a mistake of doing the exact opposite of one of the points mentioned above. But I do know how to make my way back. :-)

Heart Vs Mind

They say listen to your heart and you will never have any regrets in life. It is a fact that every individual is unique and has his/her own way of looking at things, we all have different priorities in life and both these factors decide the choices that we make in our lives. Some of us make choices by listening to our hearts, just the gut feeling, something that need not necessarily have a rationale. This bunch of people might come across as impulsive and unrealistic, but it is also true that most of the impossible feats are made possible by these very people. Sometimes their thinking defies logic, and when you ask them the reason for making a particular decision they end up saying “I believe this is the right thing to do. I feel I should go with what my heart says.” They rarely give you any logic. It is just a feeling. Their statements are marked by a constant usage of words like “believe’ and “feel” as opposed to the other bunch of people who tend to use “I think” to express their thoughts. These people rely heavily on their logical reasoning and critical thinking. They are the problem solvers and rescuers in the moment of crisis. They are pretty smart and skillful and can carry out most of the day to day tasks pretty effortlessly. By having such a person around one can rest assured that their day to day life is going to be smoother with fewer hassles.

But life isn't about just living a hassle free life. Life is also about feeling the unfelt, experiencing the inexplicable, doing the unthinkable, reaching the unreachable! I had read somewhere, whenever there is a conflict between heart and mind, listen to your heart always, for mind has boundaries and heart does not! A heart filled with love is the most powerful force in the universe! I am yet to experience this. I’ll leave it at that for now.

The lessons of life

I was leaving early from work the other day, but I had no time to book a cab. So I requested the transport supervisor and he said "I'll see what I can do". Getting a cab in these kind of situations is a daunting task, thanks to the so called company policies. The supervisor had a chat with the driver and there I was, with an almost victorious smile on my face, boarding the cab. I realised that I was the only employee in the cab. The driver had actually lied about the other employee (the one who had booked the cab for himself) being in the cab. It was really thoughtful of him to do so. He also told me "Main bol deta toh apko cab nahin milta tha madam" (Had I spoken the truth, you would not have got this seat madam). It also made me think how common it is to see these gestures coming from absolute strangers. Strangers who are drivers, cart pullers, shop keepers, and aayas etc..Despite being burdened with the challenges of earning their daily bread and butter, they show us how they can still give so much to others.

I learnt that giving is not about how much you possess, but about having the willingness to give.

There was another relatively young driver in the cab.(Must be just 20). The experienced driver was to get down on the way and the younger one was supposed to drop me and then pick up some other employees.The experienced driver was giving him sound advice. He said,"I trust you with these pick ups. Trust is very important, you mess up once and that's it! Noone is going to remember the hundred times you did it right, but everybody is going to remember the one time you falter. So, be very careful! Cause no matter what, you just cannot win the trust back. It is very difficult." And there I was, an assistant manager learning the lessons of life from a cab driver!

Trust is the base of every relationship. Be it your family, friends, love or even your doctor or driver for that matter. We subconsciously trust all these people, for, it is impossible to survive if we don't. In a way we do not have the choice of not trusting them. But what do we do when we are put in a spot? When we know someone trusts us with everything and that our act might hurt them. Do we have the strength of character to let go of our personal gains? Or even sacrifice if required, to keep their trust in us? We hear so many stories of people deceiving, cheating on and back stabbing others .

The recent wikileaks were a breach of trust of all Indians who thought that US was a true ally and a reliable friendly nation. The incident has definitely left more than just a scar on the relationship between the two countries. We got to trust each other as friends, colleagues, nations and just as human beings at a basic level. And more importantly we need to make sure that we do not break it.

It is always good to trust each other out of willingness than doing so because you have no choice. Let's be strong in the moment of truth and give "trust" a chance. It is going to win us hearts and friends for a lifetime.

Cheers!